Football & Country Ham

Today is Kramer's (Ben's cousin) last high school football game.  He's the starting quarterback for the Sacramento All-Star Team. It'll be a blast to head to the game today at Grant High School with the fam and watch him play with some amazing student athletes from other high schools.  These are the guys he was competing against for things like player of the year in the Sacramento Bee.  Then, Kramer and I get to do biology labs together next week.  I'm beyond proud of Kramer, more as a student than as an athlete.  Because I'm not athletic, I just watch in awe at his natural talent there.  But because I am an academic, I know the hard work he's put into his grades and classes.  He's a great guy.

I'm already packed a load of country ham sandwiches to take to the game to share with everyone.  My ham arrived yesterday and I cooked it last night.  I wasn't willing to let it sit and smell up my kitchen (a ham straight from the smokehouse is a few months old at least, and tends to have some light mold and smell kinda funky from the salt, smoke and skin).  After realizing I had no way to cut through the ham bone (how come we don't have a hack saw?) I scrubbed the skin well and then used an electric knife to cut everything off the bone.  Then, into two large pots on the stove to simmer for a few hours (cutting it up also seriously reduced my cooking time, which was a very nice realization).  Since I had only pre-soaked the ham for about an hour or two, I changed out the simmering water halfway through to reduce the saltiness.

At 10:00-ish last night I pulled it all out and we cut off all the outer skin and fat, then wrapped the meat in foil and put it in the fridge.  It's easier to cut if you chill it overnight, and I like it cold anyway.  I used one of the huge sections for the sandwiches, and still have TONS of ham left.  Some I'll fry up this week, the rest will get packaged and frozen for enjoyment later in the year.

By the way--Pike & hambones...wow.  Heaven.

Machiatto watching Pike eat the hambone and being stuck on the other side of the patio door...pure torture.  lol.

Being Reflective

Because we won't be traveling until after the new year begins, my Christmas is bound to be rather reflective. For someone as in love with holiday traditions as I, not being with lots of extended family makes me more melancholy than my choleric normally allows.

I wanted to share a few favorites from tonight's ponderings. Two are what are probably my "life verses" (a term that I'd never heard until a couple of years ago--where I grew up it's just a favorite memory verse).

1 Timothy 4:12
Let no man despise thy youth--but be an example of the believers in speech, life, love, faith & purity.

from Psalm 51 (the Message paraphrase)
...shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.
...Give me a job teaching rebels your ways
so the lost can find their way home.

Next is what, for lack of a better term, I'll call my "life song." It's a favorite from Shawn McDonald. They raw cry of this song is so powerful to my heart.

Have You Ever
Have you ever wanted to be someone else
Have you ever wanted just to be someone
Have you ever wanted to reach your dreams
Have you ever wanted life to be more than it seems
//
I have tasted of a love so wide
That it stops all my time
I have tasted of a love so deep
That it blows my mind
//
Have you ever wanted to reach up and touch the sky
Have you ever wanted to pack it up and say good-bye
Have you ever wanted someone to care
Have you ever wanted someone to be there
//
He is sweet, He is sweet
What you're looking for
Is my sweet, sweet Jesus
What You're looking for
Is my sweet Lord

Yes, I'm impatient.

It's not all my fault.

My parents opened their Christmas gifts to each other yesterday (December 18). So it really should come as that much of a surprise that I got my gifts from Ben tonight.

Hey--to each family their own traditions, right? And part of my family's tradition has always (and I really do mean always) open gifts earlier than is normally kosher. (Am I allowed to use the term kosher when referring to Christmas? Ahh, you know what I meant.)

And in my own defense--Ben told me to sit down while he went and got them. There was no forcing. In fact, there wasn't even much coercing. As much fun as he has torturing me with stuff like that, he wanted to give them to me. It also saved him from some wrapping duties. :o)

By the way--I love my gifts.

• Earphones with tiny little buds that don't hurt my ears (I have especially small ear canals)
• A gorgeous black and red leather business card holder (I had asked for one that was sleek and classy--I love what he picked)
• A gorilla tripod (it's small and can be thrown in your bag but has these bendable legs that let you wrap it around a railing or anything really, to get a good timer shot)

Love you Ben!

Why am I

Yesterday I was headed back to the office, and it dawned on me--
I'm annoyed.

I'm not annoyed at anyONE.
I'm not annoyed at anyTHING.
I'm not annoyed for any good reason AT ALL.
But, I just am.

So as I began to hash this out with the Lord, I just prayed that God would remove the chaos, remove the distractions and the attitudes that had suddenly crept into my daily life. When I got to the office, I took some time to turn to the Psalms and allow God to give me a purpose and a plan. This keeps me centered on Him instead of my suddenly quick temper. Psalm 51 became such a soothing part of my day. It's one of my favorite passages--here's what I made note of in my journal:

Psalm 51 (from the NLT)
6 But You desire honesty from the heart
so You can teach me to be wise in my inmost being.
...
8... You have broken me,
now let me rejoice.
...
12 Restore to me the joy
of Your salvation,
...
15 Unseal my lips, O Lord,
that I may praise You.
...
17 The sacrifice You want
is a broken spirit.

Those words jumped out at me. "You have broken me, now let me rejoice." It seems so illogical, but so powerful. God showed me that my annoyance was because my center that day had not yet been found in Him.

In another part of the chapter, Eugene Peterson puts it like this: "Create a Genesis week from the chaos in my life." What a beautiful image of God taking my void (after all, being annoyed yesterday was simply the absence of having the Peace of God in the moment) and creating something amazing.

Lord--may You fashion amazing moments in our week to come, that we see Your hand at work. When You break us, something is revealed inside. And with that revelation, You can provide healing. And as Psalm 51 says, now let us rejoice. Amen.

Solitude

Deitrich Bonhoeffer wrote “Let him who cannot be alone beware of community…Let him who is not in community beware of being alone.”

The last THRIVE class was on the discipline of Solitude. I loved teaching this class--one of the best ways to learn, or re-learn something is to teach it. When it comes to discipleship, the cliche of "those who can't, teach" should certainly not be true. I strive to practice everything I preach, but believe that I have to be vulnerable and authentic enough to share that I don't have it all together, and my own spiritual walk is just as much of an "in process" thing as everyone else's.

Back to solitude... we ran out of time during our six-weeks (that class will seven weeks long from this point on), so for this last session, I recorded the teaching plus a few favorite solitude-time songs for the class to take home and work on in...well, solitude. I think it added something extra to the teaching simply because I was sitting in an office by myself while I recorded it. In both my time of preparation and time of teaching I was able to constantly rely on the Holy Spirit as my only sense of interaction. It was a moving experience. For those of us who are used to going partially off the reactions of those listening to us (verbal and non-verbal), doing something like this is a challenge, but it was really rewarding! I pray the participants have an amazing time with the Lord as they walk through the study.

it's a new season

Yes, we've turned a leaf at Mars Hill. We started two services at the beginning of October, and one month later, the first service is healthy (larger than the average church in America) and the second service looks just as crowded as the only service did a month ago. Amazing, awesome, and completely God.

That's not the new leaf. The new leaf is that I have just planned and advertized an event that will happen DURING one of those services. Yes folks, I will not be in one of the services, and I am telling others to be elsewhere with me, then go to church later. Wow. This is a momentous moment.

The event, by the way, is a breakfast for our group life leaders. Those who lead small groups and teach Bible studies. During the holiday season there's no way I could get everyone together for a thank you breakfast, so I decided to host it during the first service so everyone can be involved. Now figuring out how to make a classroom into a nice potluck breakfast area...that's my next step. :o)

Outdoing Myself

I'm stuck. I was pretty sure last year that I had an amazing Cmas card. But I was also pretty sure that this year's would include children.

Now this year, I'm absolutely sure last year's was great. And I have no children to put on this year's. So now instead of out-doing myself by showing off my kids (which I don't have), I have to figure out a fabulous design to compensate.

This is not happy.

Fighting Against Obedience

Last week was our Minister's Retreat for the NorCal/Nevada District. This is one of those events that if you go in with a bad attitude, it's going to be horrible, but if you go in with a good attitude, you'll love it. I had a great time, which was semi-surprising, but then again, that was my goal.

On Thursday night the Word was fabulous. Wayne Benson was the speaker, and he shared a strong message on the fire of God. After there was a great time of worship. During that time, God spoke to me saying, "It's time to stop being obedient, and start being passionate. Obedience to the call will get you through the day, but passion for the call will CHANGE the day."

I'm now being challenged by that, a week later. I'm fighting against just doing things out of obedience, and struggling to find the passion for the mundane. God's grace in this situation is what is so beautiful. When I begin to think, "Why am I doing this?" I have a moment of realization that there IS purpose beyond simple obedience.

Don't get me wrong--there is a time and place where obedience is all you need. That just doesn't happen to be where I am right now.

Beyond friends.

My husband and I have a few people in our life that we would consider "beyond friends." This week, they are in our home. Having Brian, Tatina and Scott visit isn't like normal company, or even family visiting (although Tatina is my cousin). I made up the bed for Brian & Tatina, and left out some sheets for Scott to sleep on the couch, but other than that, no extra "company cleaning" was required. In fact, Scott started doing dishes not too long after he arrived.

Tomorrow we're headed to Lake Tahoe (we'll be passing all of the Labor Day people on their way home) for a few days of camping at the Lake. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to this. I'm going to do my best not to check my e-mail hourly on my phone, or even look at my phone for that matter. I love my life. I love my job, I love being a pastor and being blessed with the opportunity to have a front-row seat to watch God change peoples lives. But with these friends, I'm not Pastor Kathy. I'm not the over-achiever. In fact, they know more flaws of mine than I'll ever care to admit. And we laugh together, get frustrated with each other, forgive each other, eat off each others' plates at dinner, sleep side-by-side in a tent that's too small for the five of us...and love every single second of it.

I've known Tatina my whole life. Brian and I met the first day of classes, eight years ago. Scott and I met before classes started. Ben was his roommate. Here's to eight years of amazing friendship, and to eighty more.

Switching over...

Ok, so I've made the switch from my Xanga to here... Let's see how it goes.

Cleaning up the Wells

Mom C. once sent me a picture of the water that was coming out of their well in Liberia. It was a lovely dark reddish-brown color. Even though their well had been dug well, even though they kept it up as well as they could, it still stopped supplying them with clean water for their lives. Oh, there was plenty of water...it just looked like a strong cup of rooibos tea.

It was time to dig deeper. They didn't shut down the well or just dump chemicals into it. It wasn't even about "shoring up the walls." Sometimes, we just have to dig deeper.

I spent a couple of days this week with a group of people looking to dig deeper. It was probably one of the most gratifying and fulfilling experiences I have ever had in ministry.

What is your definition of productive--being a well with water, or one with life-giving water? God can fill us all day long, but we haven't dug deep enough, it will still end up a mess.