Why am I

Yesterday I was headed back to the office, and it dawned on me--
I'm annoyed.

I'm not annoyed at anyONE.
I'm not annoyed at anyTHING.
I'm not annoyed for any good reason AT ALL.
But, I just am.

So as I began to hash this out with the Lord, I just prayed that God would remove the chaos, remove the distractions and the attitudes that had suddenly crept into my daily life. When I got to the office, I took some time to turn to the Psalms and allow God to give me a purpose and a plan. This keeps me centered on Him instead of my suddenly quick temper. Psalm 51 became such a soothing part of my day. It's one of my favorite passages--here's what I made note of in my journal:

Psalm 51 (from the NLT)
6 But You desire honesty from the heart
so You can teach me to be wise in my inmost being.
...
8... You have broken me,
now let me rejoice.
...
12 Restore to me the joy
of Your salvation,
...
15 Unseal my lips, O Lord,
that I may praise You.
...
17 The sacrifice You want
is a broken spirit.

Those words jumped out at me. "You have broken me, now let me rejoice." It seems so illogical, but so powerful. God showed me that my annoyance was because my center that day had not yet been found in Him.

In another part of the chapter, Eugene Peterson puts it like this: "Create a Genesis week from the chaos in my life." What a beautiful image of God taking my void (after all, being annoyed yesterday was simply the absence of having the Peace of God in the moment) and creating something amazing.

Lord--may You fashion amazing moments in our week to come, that we see Your hand at work. When You break us, something is revealed inside. And with that revelation, You can provide healing. And as Psalm 51 says, now let us rejoice. Amen.