everyonesAwriter

Forcing His Hand?

2010-01-25T16:25:00.001-08:00

Just a quick thought to go along with tonight's devotional on John 15 from the Awakening e-mails...

We do not fast to get God to do something.
We fast so we can recognize that God is doing something.

So... what's He up to these days?

When Fasting Becomes Easy

2010-01-20T16:30:00.000-08:00

There are days when the busy is more noticeable than the fast. When you begin to slide into the routine of what you're eating/not eating, there can be a shift in your brain that says, "I've got this, I'm good."

That's a dangerous place. Because suddenly you are no more reliant on God than you were in "normal" life before fasting. And the entire point is to spend more time in the Presence of God.

And by "you"--I mean me.

So a challenge to all of us, is when the fasting becomes easy, it suddenly becomes harder. Let's press in!

2010-01-18T19:34:00.000-08:00

Philippians 2:3-5
Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.

I was first introduced to Francis Schaeffer in college. We had to read True Spirituality and if you've ever taken a study I was teaching at Mars, I've probably quoted it at some point. Along with the quote I would have told you that it "kicked my spiritual booty." Certain theologians who are also artful writers, such as Schaeffer, have a way of just cutting into my very mind and heart.

Anyway, Schaeffer asserts that all sin - from a child stealing an extra cookie from the counter, to murder, to disobeying God's call, to adultery, to lying, all has the same root. Vanity.

Being self-centered allows you a lot of leeway. Just go through that list of sins I gave:

Stealing a cookie = What I think I want is a better opinion that what Mommy thinks is best
Murder = I am able to make a decision to end someone else's life
Disobeying God's call = I can come up with a better plan for me than God can
Adultery = I am above God's rules on fidelity, My desire is more important than my spouse
Lying = I am better than you, and can choose whether or not you know the truth

Fasting is incredibly humbling. But it's amazing how even in the middle of an intense spiritual discipline, our pride level can creep up as we start to feel very proud of what we're doing. I've found one of the greatest ways to combat this is to begin to pray for others. Think of others' needs as higher than your own. Take up their cross and carry it for awhile. Pray along with them.

And one more way to help yourself be humble - ask for prayer. Remember there is a community alongside you who is spending a lot of extra time with God. Share your needs with a friend, share your struggle with a friend, and then share your faith with a friend.

First Hand Accounts

2010-01-17T14:13:00.000-08:00

The following is posted with permission from a fellow minister. Her family is in Haiti as missionaries, and she sent this e-mail from her mother. They are in Leogane (pronounced Lay oh Gone) not Port-au-Prince, which is actually closer to the epicenter yet no aid has yet arrived in their town. Most aid is still stagnated in the capitol. Please be in prayer for the hundreds, thousands injured, the doctors working without gloves, antibiotics or anesthesia. My heart, as a future adoptive mom, also goes out to the adoptive parents I've heard of this week who had their bags packed and were ready to board a plane to go pick up their children in Haiti, only to hear that their children did not survive.

I encourage you to read to the end.

Friendds,

I

Using som,eone’s computer without using a bright screen, so
I cannot tell aoba

Ut my mistakes. I
will send one msg to all, so some information will not mean anything to you.

Hopital Ste. Croix is standing. John and I are fine. The administration collapsed under the
guesthouse, and our apartment collapsed under the story above. We have nothing we brought with us to Haiti, but
since we have done a lot of cleaning in the gusthouse and hospital, we can find
what we really need. Someone who was
here gave me some shoes, and I foiund another pair or reading glasses that will
work, so I have what I need. John was
caught under the wreckage for about 4 hours, but shortlthe roof above was
supported y the lintel of the slinding glass door, which held up te second
floor, so he was uninjured except for a small cut on the top of his head.

Everyone connected with the hospital is alive except that we
have not heard from Mario.. Several people lost members of extended
family. Alber’s daught was injured but
is fe, will recover fully. He saddest
news is tat Marie Yves has died. In the earthquake. Motr and Chrislet are fine. The Ste. Croix church is cracked, I don’t
know how badly. Eye clinic looks fine. Pere Kerouin’s house looks OK, Pere FanFan’s
house looks OK with some damage, Pere Pierre’s house is damaged, but stll
standing. Doctor’s quarter’s and
penthouse are fine. If we can get it
open, John and I may try to move in there for a while. At

At night we sleep in the yard behind the hospital where the
bandstand was. It has fallen, as has theEpiscopal
school. Thee are 2-300 people who sleep
in that field at night. Thy sing ymns
until almost midnight, andn we wake up to a church service, with hymns, a
morning prayer, and the apostle’s creed.
The evening sky is glorious. In
the field there is a real sense of community.
Of course, we are the only blancs there.
A group from FondWa arrived in Leogane today and will sleep there
tonight. Janine the head cook brought John
and me spaghetti from her home in Darbonne 8 miles away. We shared with the group from FondWa. They have some money so they went out and
bought rice, etc, and we will eat tonight.
People have shared with us and we are getting a chance to feel how the
Haitians really live.

The injuries we have seen at the hospital are enormouse,
skulls exposed, one woman died in the yard. Another women’s leg was cut vertically to the
bone, with muscles showing. Doctors
worked and saw over 300 people with cuts, fractures, etc. Today they are not, but worked hard every
day since the quake.

Of course, we have seen looting. The end wall of the guesthouse by the shared
drugs fell and it was open to the outside. My friends can imagine how I shouted down
about 20 looters in the guesthouse. Righteous
indignation works wonders, as does a tiny bit of pushing people to get out.

John and I do not know our plans. We need to talk with the board, but have no
phone. We have Joey’s phone, with
battery that needs charging. Our idea is
to stay as long as we can b helpful, then get out of the way.

I have never understgood joy in the midst of suffering, but
now I do. The caring I have seen, the
help we have received from the Haitians, the evening songs and prayers. Are wonderful.
The people will survive, though
many will die. Please pray for us. And pray that we and the hospital can be of
help to the people here.

Suzi

Heightened Senses - Or Not?

2010-01-17T09:05:00.000-08:00

It's like every single beat of worship is reverberating, buzzing even, through my body. I not only hear each note of the bass, I can honestly, truly, feel them. My senses are incredibly heightened.

I only wish that were from the fast. The fact of the matter is, I'm sitting in my office on Sunday morning while the worship team is rehearsing, and there is absolutely zero sound barrier between the platform and me. The t-bar and lights above me really are buzzing, and if you put your hand on any of my dark teal walls - you'd feel it too.

But a lot of people do talk about and experience heightened senses during a fast. This is especially if you are doing a fast of all solid food, and are drinking water and pure juices / broths only. So not only do things begin to clarify spiritually, the start to clarify physically as well.

For others, you may be heading into a season akin to what John of the Cross named "The Dark Night of the Soul." It's a season of your spiritual walk that feels isolated, dim, and distant. I want to reassure you that this is also very normal. Remember - the night is always darkest before the dawn. Our verse of focus today reminds me that even Jesus felt that isolation. In the garden He asked His Father to take the cup of suffering (his coming crucifixion) away... but He also yielded His own will to the Father's and knew this is what He came for. What a beautiful reminder.

So if today you're feeling a little 3:00am-ish all day, remember that God has placed you in this experience for a reason. He has not forgotten about you along the way, and the rewards... ahh, the rewards. May the anticipation of God's best resonate in your body like the sound of a Mars Hill worship team sound-check. :o)

With you.

To Talk or Not to Talk

2010-01-14T10:14:00.000-08:00

If you know me at all, the answer to that line is almost always, 'Yes!' :o) Talking is not something I mind. (I am my father's daughter.) But when it comes to the Church and fasting, the generally consensus has been to not talk.

The other night I was doing some more research online and discovered something that really caught my interest. There are not a lot of Christian resources talking about the experience of fasting, and more specifically, going on a liquid or water fast. There are several new-age or eastern philosophy pages that include the same basic info over and over. A few people have posted daily video blogs through day 16 - I did find one on day 21, but none were believers.

I think this may be from a combination of two issues at work:

Talking about fasting, or more specifically your own fast, has become taboo in the church. As we discovered through our own church's preparation and fasting classes, many people have been told fasting, but very very few have been taught fasting.
Perhaps Christians are rarely fasting for extended periods, and since it has become a more rare discipline, those who do fast are not able to do a liquid/water fast, and more commonly use a Daniel-type fast. There are large amounts of information on this type.

But even if you aren't thinking about liquid/water fasting, there is still the question of whether or not you talk about your fast. Last night I had this conversation with some folks before the prayer meeting. What if someone at your workplace asks why you aren't eating lunch? You may have been taught that you're not supposed to talk about the fact that you're fasting, but how do you answer a direct question? You certainly don't want to lie.

Just as what you are fasting is between you and God, how you discuss your fast is also between you and God. But, here are some things to think about:

The only rebuke of people talking about fasting comes from Jesus, to the Pharisees, who were hypocrites, and going around saying "Oh woe is me!" to show off how spiritual they were with their pride of fasting and tithing.
Scripture records many, many stories of people fasting. It's clear not only that it was common, but normal for groups to fast together. Here is a comprehensive list of fasts, including whether they were individual or corporate. If no one was allowed to know about it, why were they recorded?
There is help in community. I'm not proposing we shout to the world around us, or sit and have a corporate pity party, but discussing the ups and downs within the community that is fasting with you, does not seem to be against Scripture. I'm willing for my mind to be changed on this, but so far I haven't found that.

So here are some heart-checks that I think will help us be able to "tawk amongst ourselves" in a Godly manner:

When you are talking about fasting - what is your pride doing? Is it welling up inside you or not? Ask God to make this clear to you.
If you start the discussion, will it cause undue attention towards you or end up in any sort of self-promotion? If it does, it would be best to avoid this.
Is the conversation drawing attention to the difficulty of fasting or how spiritual you are for fasting, or is the attention on what God is doing in your life, despite the discomforts?
Will you walk away from the conversation feeling good about yourself for fasting, or will you walk away feeling good about God and His work? There is only answer to that question that would give me an "okay" in my heart to proceed.

Your thoughts?

Mountain Movers

2010-01-13T05:00:00.000-08:00

Matthew 17:20 "...you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move..."

Yesterday there was a 7.+ earthquake in Haiti. A few days before one in Humbolt County. Before that a small one in the Bay Area. There's a lot of moving and shaking going on in the earth. And trust me, I'm not claiming it as prophetic, but it certainly is applicable.

Faith enough to move mountains is impressive. I want mountains to be moved. I want the spiritual ground to shake because I have faith and am allowing God to use me.

Are you ready for that? Are you ready for God to increase your faith? Are you ready to see mountains moved?

Reminder - prayer meeting tonight at 7:00pm.

Annoying Vesses & Not-So-Empty Hands

2010-01-12T14:11:00.000-08:00

John 10:27 My sheep hear my voice, I know them, and they follow me.

It's annoying to me when God uses things that I'm not a fan of to speak to me. Yesterday, when I was driving home there was a song on Christian radio that to many may be very, very poignant. To me, though, it's just over-played at this point, since it was never really in my top list anyway. No offense to the artist or those who love it, it's just not my perfect cup of tea... ohh... tea... even tea sounds nice right now, and I don't even like tea... Day 2 - Stay strong! Where's my water?

"Empty hands held high // Such small sacrifice..."

And then I hear something other than the radio. I hear the louder than audible noise from the depths of me... "Excuse me, but this IS a sacrifice."

The response was immediate, but it wasn't from the depths of me, it was much deeper than I could ever be. "That's because your hands aren't empty."

"That's a good thing, right?" Even as the mental argument left the processors I knew how truly wrong I was. The "I have a lot to offer" defense came out of my heart-brain with much more pride and vanity than I would have preferred.

Oww. That hurt harder than fasting hunger.

"Keep listening, Kathy - hear My voice."

You see, hearing His voice isn't just about being able to repeat back the words, it's to understand, to consider what has been said. And the longer I consider, the more I realize how well He really does know me, and how far I have to go in following Him.

Fasting is a process of emptying. And here I thought I'd be starting with my stomach.

Lifesong, by Casting Crowns
Empty Hands held high
Such Small sacrifice
If not joined with my life
I sing in vain tonight

May the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to you

Chorus:
Let my lifesong sing to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
I want to sign your name
to the end of this day
Knowing that my heart was true
Let my lifesong sing to You

LORD, I give my life
A Living sacrifice
To reach a world in need
To be your hands and feet

So may the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You

Hallelujah, Hallelujah,
Let my lifesong sing to You

Don't take a shower to get ready for a bath.

2010-01-10T23:17:00.001-08:00

I'm not sure where the saying came from. "You don't take a shower to get ready for a bath." It's always reminded me of the "fixin' to get ready to..." saying from the South. As if "fixin'" (which translates "getting ready to") wasn't enough, that you have to be redundantly redundant. You're getting ready to get ready. What does that mean? Sitting on the couch thinking about it? Anyway, I digress.

You don't need to take a shower to get ready for a bath. Soaking in the bath will make you clean. Why hurry up and get a shower first? That's just plain ridiculous.

But that's what we do. We think we have to prepare ourselves for a time of preparation.

Our church (Mars Hill Community) is entering into a season we're calling Awakening. It's a 21 day fast, and I have to be honest... I've been really looking forward to it. Until today.

Today is when it finally hit me what I'm not going to have. So then my brain starts going through lists of things that I should take care of with God before I let God take care of all of the stuff in me. And the lack of logic here--trust me, it doesn't go unnoticed. And don't get me wrong - I'm all about keeping short accounts with God. But do I really think He doesn't notice that I'm laying here on the couch, fixin' to get ready for what He has for me?

As we head into this time together, let's remember that the journey also matters to God. He is preparing us for something great. So let's just soak this part in. No fast showers for me. I'm lighting the candles, grabbing the salts and bubbles, and even that little plastic-backed-inflatable-pillow-thingy. 'Cause God and me have a bunch of cleaning to do, and pruned as I might be at the end... it's definitely going to be worth it!

No Full Frontals Allowed

2009-12-01T20:58:00.001-08:00

Ahh, the memories. Hey old CTAG youth? Remember the "no full frontal hugging" rule?

Please Watch.

2009-11-13T21:54:00.000-08:00

The Hyenas Did Not Touch Him

2009-11-06T00:28:00.000-08:00

Because I grew up in a non-liturgical tradition, creeds (well, at least formal ones) were not really a part of my early education. Although I might argue that singing Alive, Alive, Alive forevermore can turn into something of a rosary, that's probably as close as we got. :o)

Anyway, I came across this today, and love it. It's called The Maasai Creed. The info below is from Wikipedia. Favorite line: "the hyenas did not touch him." Sometimes we need to remember that God guarding us for the hyenas is a very, very good thing.

"The Maasai Creed is a creed composed in 1960 by the Maasai people of East Africa in collaboration with missionaries from the Congregation of the Holy Ghost. The creed attempts to express the essentials of the Christian faith within the Maasai culture. Jaroslav Pelikan, one of the greatest modern scholars of creeds and their history, considers the Maasai Creed to be an excellent example of the bringing together of universal faith and local experience (http://speakingoffaith.publicradio.org/programs/pelikan/index.shtml)"

We believe in the one High God, who out of love created the beautiful world and everything good in it. He created Man and wanted Man to be happy in the world. God loves the world and every nation and tribe on the Earth. We have known this High God in darkness, and now we know Him in the light. God promised in the book of His word, the Bible, that He would save the world and all the nations and tribes.

We believe that God made good His promise by sending His Son, Jesus Christ, a man in the flesh, a Jew by tribe, born poor in a little village, who left His home and was always on safari doing good, curing people by the power of God, teaching about God and man, showing the meaning of religion is love. He was rejected by his people, tortured and nailed hands and feet to a cross, and died. He lay buried in the grave, but the hyenas did not touch him, and on the third day, He rose from the grave. He ascended to the skies. He is the Lord.

We believe that all our sins are forgiven through Him. All who have faith in Him must be sorry for their sins, be baptised in the Holy Spirit of God, live the rules of love and share the bread together in love, to announce the Good News to others until Jesus comes again. We are waiting for Him. He is alive. He lives. This we believe. Amen.

Heart Rhythm

2009-09-23T14:02:00.000-07:00

I wrote this while sitting in the hospital prior to our god-son's birth. Kayvion arrived 11 weeks early, but less than two months later was able to go home, safe and healthy.
_____

For years I wouldn't have been able to sit in this room. To spend the night would have been too painful, but to sit awake an even worse punishment. To work away to the rhythm of a heartbeat, disguised only slightly by the protective fluid between it and the monitor... a special version of water torture for a barren woman.

But over the last two days I've spent many hours sitting here, listening for a heart rhythm that's speed is comfort, for slowing down is what caused mother and child to be here. And I sit. And I chat. And I work and am thankful for a hospital with wifi.

And I'm not bothered by a rhythm that has become my white noise. It's actually a comforting sound. That little rhythm is the sound of my god-son, who doesn't need to arrive until December.

And this tells me I am stronger than I thought.
And that my God is a better healer than I sometimes remember.

Adoption False Labor

2009-08-18T11:49:00.000-07:00

Take a deep breath.
Take several deep breaths.

Change position. Maybe take a walk. Maybe rest.

Perhaps a warm bath to help the body relax.

More deep breaths. Slow, deep breaths.

Women with traditional pregnancies aren't the only ones who experience the pains of false labor. Those of us who have "paper pregnancies" can also need the same advice when time is getting close but it isn't really the time yet.

Our paperwork for fost-adoption certification in California is being finalized as I type. And yesterday, I received a phone call from our social worker. The voicemail I picked up later (I'm going to be re-thinking that technology-free meeting during this "labor" period of our process), it didn't start with the "You're certified!" I expected.

Instead, it was "There are three children..."

*insert heart rate increase here*

And then she began to describe them a bit, their current situation, that they are adoptive free (aka - their .26 hearing to terminate parental rights has already taken place), and that she has info pages to forward to me if we'd like.

For months - well, honestly, YEARS, we've been waiting for this phone call. And here it is, before I thought it would arrive. But at the same time, what we have to pray through, discern through, is whether or not it's really labor - if these are really our kids about to arrive. Because there's also a good chance it's just false labor, and this too, shall pass.

That may sound cold and inconsiderate - it's not. We need to hear from God on what is best for these three adorable kids, and whether our home and family is going to be that. We know what we feel God has already placed in our hearts, so if these cuties don't line up with His direction - we have to make those decisions.

Keep breathing, Kathy.
Just keep breathing.
Because it's definitely not a time to push.

Chicken Soup for My Husband's Soul

2009-08-14T12:40:00.000-07:00

The beginnings of dinner are set to simmer and create yumminess.

"It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is."

2009-08-13T10:32:00.000-07:00

This is not a political statement, or a bash session. Or at least, I'm not bashing who you might think.

In September of 1998, Bill Clinton made that famous statement: "It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is." {I remember this whole era well because it was my senior year of high school, I was highly attuned to the poltical and government world being an Extemporaneous Domestic Affairs Speaker (nerd speak for the fact that I competed in public speaking competitions and talked about government and social issues in America) and later that Fall I was sitting in the House of Representatives gallery as below me history was made when they voted to impeach the President, something that had only happened once before.}

But back to my point.

This is not a presidential inquiry. There is no parsing of words here.

There are things in my life that just plain "is."

And they are wrong.
And they shouldn't exist.

Because we often pray, "Father, search me, know me, reveal any sins that I need to take care of," just to cover up the fact that we really do know about the sins we are avoiding taking care of. Those that are blatant in our own hearts.

Our church is entering a time where the Holy Spirit is moving on a grand scale, working, and not just corporately, but individually. So as we come in humility and repentance, asking God to let us be a part of all that He has for us... let's not purger ourselves by denying what is obvious, even if it's only obvious to God & the deepest, most honest recesses of our own hearts.

"So throw all spoiled virtue and cancerous evil in the garbage. In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life." - James 1:21 (as paraphrased by Eugene Peterson in The Message)

First Days

2009-07-27T10:40:00.000-07:00

First days are rough.

It doesn't matter how exciting, how much anticipation has been building, how great or how sad the event, the first day is always rough in some way, shape, or form.

Today is my "first day" back in the office following kids camp and vacation. Next week is our church family camping trip, so there's prep for that as well. Plus that to-do list from before I left, this week's reoccurring meetings and tasks, Fall Studies and House Parties to get my brain wrapped around, follow-up from baptisms, new believers and discipleship stuff, building information, and oh - that layer of dust on my shelves that needs my attention.

First days are rough.

So as I sit at my desk and look at the piles, old and new; look at the projects, old and new; look at the tasks, old and new... I decide.

I decide to step away from the desk and sit on the couch.
I decide to crank up the cello solo station on Accu Radio.
I decide to focus on God and pray so the rest of my day can be focused.
I decide to make a new list. Who cares if they're old tasks, it's a new page.
I decide that rough is simply not the right answer.

Anticipation, encouragement that so much is going on, so many lives are being touched and changed, and I get a front-row seat to watch. And I remember that sometimes, I even to be a character in the actual event, and play a role in the stories.

And I sigh.
And I thank God.
And I breathe deep.
And I get to work.

Why, Thank You Mickey!

2009-07-07T08:32:00.000-07:00

Thanks for that great reminder, Mickey! You're right, my birthday is getting close.

14 shopping days left!!!!!

20 shopping days left!

2009-07-01T14:00:00.000-07:00

Okay people, there's only 20 shopping days left until my BIRTHDAY! :o) I'll be 28, in case you were wondering or didn't bother looking at my Facebook profile. You only have three weeks left!

Oh, and if you really love me, and my husband - our 7th anniversary is two days later. ;o) Did I mention that my love languages are gifts and words of affirmation? And I feel like words of affirmation (like well-written greeting cards) are gifts to my heart... so guess which one's the primarily language?

Here's what you can get me:

Crate & Barrel has this cute sugar/creamer set where the creamer looks like a little milk carton. I know, random, but I saw it and I likey.
Douvet set (including the actual douvet blanket)
Hammock for my backyard
Hammock stand
Books
Strawberries
Plane Tickets to the East Coast for sometime this fall after we have our kids
A vehicle large enough to hold said children
I'm addicted to Burt's Bees lip balm - either the peppermint oil or the pomegranate oil one, in stick form so my fingernail doesn't get all gross
Speaking of nails - mani/pedi
A MASSAGE!!!!
Charms about my husband (hint, hint, Benjamin)
Red Envelope has this Year of Seeds thing that is just stinkin' adorable
An oval domed "shadow box" type frame for me to finally do that art project with my wedding flowers
Chimes for our back porch - but only ones with really deep, rich tones
creative/modern/classic bookends
An herb garden of my very own
ice cream maker
wok
an immersion blender
golf lessons
purses (must be approved by either Barbie P or Joslyn H)
Bath & Body Stuff in wild honeysuckle
Alaskan Cruise
Lenses for my camera - I have a Canon Rebel XTi, I need a good portrait lens, and a good zoom
Flash for my camera

Okay, well that should at least get you started, right?

The Joys of Giant Doors

2009-06-20T14:38:00.000-07:00

Back when we were still squatters, we had no doors.

You see, we're a church plant. And we were borrowing some offices, which don't get me wrong, were a huge blessing. For three years we had a place to do small group gatherings / classes, and work during the week. At first just a couple of people were there during the day, down the hall from the billion dollar business that lent us some square footage. But then there were three, then four, and at times eight of us trying to be productive.

And quiet.

That was a big problem for us. Not only are we all of the preacher-type variety, we're pentecostal. Those two things put together and the word "quiet" isn't really an option, you know? But there was a problem. We had no doors.

I remember staring at the grey walls we called home and thinking, "If only we had doors. Lord, I'd really like a door." We adapted, we adjusted, and we continued to shush each other so we didn't disturb said billion dollar business.

And then we moved - into our own building.

Oh, we're loud alright. It's like we're making up for it. But even better - we have doors. And God didn't just come through and say, "Okay, here's a nice, normally little door for you since you asked so nicely (read: persistently)."

He gave us huge doors. Huge.

The door to my office is 9 feet tall. It's giant. And I love it.

You see, God cares about the obscure requests. And not only does He care, He comes through - with style.

Kings 4:15 -- And he said, "Call her." And when he had called her, she stood in the door.

(Yeah, seriously out of context, but it kinda works, you know?)

After the Fact

2009-05-20T10:58:00.000-07:00

For the last week, Ben and I were back in Springfield, MO, where we lived for 6 years. In fact, it was ten years ago this August that we both moved (without knowing each other) into our dorm rooms at Evangel University. We spent the last eight days going from place to place, restaurant to restaurant, to hang out with people. People we love and miss.

Being back after leaving was really wierd. I'll be honest. It was strange at times. We've been in Sacramento for over half the time we were in Springfield. Yet, it feels like we were there so much longer. That feeling comes from the fact that we experienced our college days, our single days, our young married days, all there. Plus, we had several "sets" of friends we experienced live with while living in the midwest.

It was surreal - walking around places that used to be part of our everyday lives.

In fact, I felt like an outsider reading someone else's autobiography. I knew all of the characters, the script and storyline-- but it wasn't "me" playing the leading anymore. I am no longer that person. My perspective has changed in the 3 1/2 years since we left.

But even in that "after-the-fact" feeling, I so enjoyed my time with friends.

The people who packed our home with us before we left, there they were to welcome us. I love them
The campus that has changed so much, but the names on doors feel familiar and new buildings still oddly like home
A church building that still displays signs I made
Restauraunts feeding us comfort foods of memories past
Laughing till your sides hurt in a home that you never lived in, but it feels like you did
A wedding with people you don't even realize are in the network of your life
Spending daily activities with your best friend, just like old times before you each had a "permanent roommate."
Tornado sirens...

Thanks for the fun, my friends. You are loved.

For the Birds...

2009-03-17T15:04:00.000-07:00

Here's a link to the impromptu message this past Sunday at Mars. It was great fun to be able to share with our church family, even though last minute due to Pastor's illness. He's doing just fine now (kidney stone), and the sermon has been posted on the church website. God showed us Himself, two people dedicated their lives to the Lord, and many of us were touched by the great time of worship & prayer at the end of service.

http://MarsHillFamily.com/sermons

The last piece of furniture

2009-01-29T09:00:00.000-08:00

Last night was big. We picked up the last piece of furniture or equipment we need to have our house ready for Fost-Adopt certification. Once the last papers are in, we'll be in the final interviews process with our social worker, but the house...is ready. Vitamins are locked up, detergents are "inaccessible," rooms have beds, linens and dressers (thanks Morris Fam, Nelson Fam, Haggard Fam and freecycle!), carseats are stacked, stuffed animals are piled... it's ready.

Which also means that right now, it's kinda empty.

This is par for the course in the adoption world. You hurry up, get ready, and wait. This is also when people love to tell you, "Any day now," "This waiting is great character building," "God's timing is best," "There's a reason for this delay." Can I just advise everyone--don't say these things to an adoptive family. We know. Really, we do. But that doesn't necessarily make waiting any easier. We've already waited so many times in various processes, that another wait isn't exactly welcome.

Am I absolutely confident that God's timing is prefect? YES. But most of the time, we as believers end up sharing platitudes with each other that aren't helpful. Reminders of the timing just remind me how long it's been, how many starts and stops there have been. How long the crib and other beds might remain empty still. And none of this is encouraging. Sorry, just being honest here. And don't worry, I'm not offended by anyone who's ever said these things to me. I'm also fully aware that once my home is full of kids running around, I will have mother's amnesia as to how long this wait was (this is a paperwork pregnancy, after all).

So the point here... God's timing--absolutely amazing. I'm just announcing to the world that I'm one step closer to Him making something happen. :o)

2009-01-28T17:24:00.001-08:00

testing....

Advent

2008-12-03T11:08:00.001-08:00

Today I read a passage from the psalms -

Psalm 24:7 Open up, ancient gates!
Open up, ancient doors,
and let the King of glory enter.

Another paraphrase says, “Wake up, you sleepy-headed people!” As I stared at the page today God began to ask me what areas of my life were those ancient gates, those ancient doors that I hadn’t opened to Him in awhile. In one way it was a rhetorical question, because God already knew the answer. But on the other hand, it was a challenge to my heart. I have to give the King of Glory full access to my past, present and future. When I allow Him to work in every area, I’ll have more reasons to be thankful this Christmas for the grace, mercy and hope that exists because of Christ’s birth.

The passage today was one portion of my reading for Advent, which began this past Sunday. For many of us who either didn’t grow up in church or had a church experience that wasn’t liturgical, Advent is a Christian season that we know little about—just enough to tie it to Christmas and that wreath with candles we sometimes see. Advent can be a great spiritual practice, though—it is a time to prayerfully and intentionally prepare your heart and mind for the true celebration of Christmas, that the Christ child was born.

Advent has existed for quite some time, and it really has a beautiful rhythm to enter into. Various calendars show particular readings for reflection, anticipation, and contemplation on the hope that Christmas represents. If you’re interested in a suggested devotional path for the holiday, please e-mail me at KathyC@MarsHillFamily.com and I’ll be glad to send it out. Let’s prepare our hearts together to celebrate Christmas at its fullest.

Mars Hill Fairfield

2008-11-02T09:38:00.001-08:00

Hi friends! To view the photos from our shoot at Mars Hill Fairfield today, please click here.

Step One...again.

2008-10-15T23:07:00.000-07:00

Ben and I are back onto the road in our adoption journey. It took a major sidetrack last year when God pulled our hearts back from the international adoption we were planning. Then once we started to get into the domestic side of things, and specifically a California fos-adopt program, we learned something.

Social workers don't like lakes. Especially ones on your apartment complex property that don't involve fences.

So we looked for a house. We didn't find the right house for the right (low) price. So we found a rental house. And FINALLY, this week, we're moving!

Now on to the unpacking. Well, not quite yet. It's Wednesday night and there will be another full day of packing tomorrow, followed by moving and unpacking on Friday and much more on Saturday. Then, in three weeks one of the reps from our agency will be coming over for our first home inspection.

In the meantime- paperwork, doctor's appointments (which may mean more blood drawn, yick), trips to the DMV, background checks... woo-hoo. Paper pregnant again. Back on the rollercoaster we go.

There's also a court date for our Maybe Baby next week, so we're hoping to confirm the time and attend. We've only met a couple of extended family members, so keep us in your prayers.

Fall Equinox Friday Five

2008-09-22T12:44:00.000-07:00

Songbird says, "It's that time of year, at least north of the equator. The windows are still open, but the darned furnace comes on early in the morning. My husband went out for a walk after an early supper and came home in full darkness.And yes, where we live, leaves are beginning to turn.As this vivid season begins, tell us five favorite things about fall."

1) A fragrance

Baked pumpkin & spices. Whether the conduit is coffee, candles, or pies... bring it on.

2) A color

Any and all oranges when combined with reds and purples and evergreens. I'm not a big orange fan at all (too many pumpkin or carrot-top jokes as a kid), but once fall hits, I'm happy to throw it in with the others and make it gorgeous.

3) An item of clothing

Scarves.

4) An activity

Trips to Apple Hill for doughnuts and cider. A new tradition since moving to California, as back home this would be available just down the street.

5) A special day

Searching for a Christmas tree. Yes, this sounds like a winter activity, but in California "winter" doesn't really hit until December, by which time my tree is firmly in place.

Peach Jam

2008-08-23T14:35:00.001-07:00

Canning is not something I remember my mom doing a lot of, but she rarely had the time. MomMom Douglas, however, put up enough jars of jam every year for the entire family to raid the basement shelves. Being on the other side of the country means I don't get that access anymore, and MomMom being 90 also puts a slight damper on her dexterity. So as her namesake, it's certainly appropriate that I love to be in the kitchen.

Earlier this year I made strawberry jam, but not enough. This last week the peaches looked really nice, so I decided to can just a couple of pints. (I didn't have any small jars and didn't want to go to the store since it was 8:30 in the evening.)

If you're wondering if there's any special recipe... don't bother. It's simply peaches, sugar, lemon juice and liquid pectin. On one jar I did add spices (cinnamon and clove).

The end result was a couple of really beautiful jars of peach jam. Of course, I don't know how it tastes yet... maybe I should go make some toast. Yum!

The Pastor's Husband

2008-07-17T14:10:00.000-07:00

"So does Ben want to be a pastor?"

No. The answer is no. No kidding. It really is no.

I've learned in the last 6 years of our marriage, plus two years of dating prior to that, to just take this question with an entire shaker of salt. But seriously, if I had a dollar for every time... maybe I'd actually be able to afford a house in California.

This question is generally followed by "So how does that work?" Now, these question will never be asked of a male pastor. "So your wife doesn't want to be a pastor in vocational ministry? Really? Wow. So how does that work?" There's always this assumption that the wife will help the husband, be there as back-up, even be the two-for-one deal many pastors try to recruit and not pay. So when trying to figure out how it "works" for us rare and but certainly not non-existent women in ministry who are married to men who have "secular" jobs... let me help you.

Just switch the titles. That's right, it really is that easy. "...the husband will help the wife, be there as back-up, ..." Just like every male pastor has to give serious props to his wife for helping him survive and stay in ministry, I have to hand it to my husband for doing the exact same thing. This doesn't suddenly change the tilt of the world's axis and uproot everything we believe about the relationship between a husband and a wife. {Please note I said everything "we" believe, not everything "you" may believe.} And if you're worried about that, I welcome you to join us for dinner some night or just watch Ben & I interact for an hour. And if you're still curious about what we believe and try to live, I'd be happy to have that conversation as well.

It's okay. I know it's hard to understand, because it's not something that's really modeled very often in today's society, especially in conservative circles. But it really does work. And for that, I am incredibly grateful.

Notes from Grandma's

2008-06-23T22:06:00.001-07:00

I wrote these notes sitting at the Cannon home in January. It was our holiday vacation, since we couldn't leave until New Year's Day.

Sounds of a happy home

A grandmother’s rosary of sorting silverware
Prayers sung to her heavenly audience

The thumping of elephant herds wrestling overhead
Big brother is the best toy today

Gurgles and occasional cries
The flexible monkey pulls “be glorified” melodies from her flower

Pitter patter from eight extra feet, four now snoring on my lap
“Can we take the yard home?”

“Dinner will be ready when it’s ready.”
“That’s an answer.”

Tired

2008-06-16T18:51:00.000-07:00

the end of the day

the lines begin to blur

frustrations can mount

like anthills in africa

the end of the day

the tension in my head

no one should talk to me

it's not safe anymore

the end of the day

the exhaustion takes over

how was your meeting

just listen to mine

the end of the day

the dogs are waiting

food, water, let me out

we love you anyway

the end of the day

the work is still there

just until the battery runs out

one hour more on the couch

the end of the day

the dvr beckons

watch without interruption

let my brain shut down

the end of the day

the pillowcases are cold

this is my husband

in whom I am well pleased

the end of the day

the dreams started as stories

which one tonight

float off to the future

They're here!

2008-05-11T16:54:00.000-07:00

Thank you to all of the mothers who helped us celebrate by having family portraits taken. You are all gorgeous, and have amazing families!

CLICK HERE to go to the PHOTO GALLERIES.

Mother's Day Portrait Sign-Ups

2008-05-07T16:35:00.000-07:00

Hi there, Moms of Mars Hill!

Please look through the list below of available slots for your gift portrait sitting on Sunday, May 11. If we fill up, we will plan for a second week of photography. We wanted to give you a unique gift this year, and the wonderful response has shown us that we hit the mark! Mars Hill will provide the sitting and a gift 4x6 photo. The photographer (Pastor Kathy) will be providing a proof sheet and order form if you would like to order additional prints.

To sign-up, please view the available slots and then leave a comment with the time and your name and contact info. We will update the list daily. We ask that you be there at least 5 minutes before your slot in case of no-shows, then we can slip you in early. Thank you!

Schedule for Sunday, May 11
8:30 Davis
8:35 Hagan
8:40 Tolbert
8:45 Franke
8:50 Swinson
8:55 Sanchez (P&L)
9:00 Sanchez
9:05 Holloway
9:10 AVAILABLE
9:15 AVAILABLE
9:20 AVAILABLE
9:25 Barbarick
9:30 Burlison
9:35 Martinez
9:40 Moultrie
9:45 Burgess
9:50 Cole
9:55 Acosta
10:00 McLaughlin
10:05 Rubio
10:10 Chavez (L)
10:15 Sanchez (M)
10:20 McInturf
10:25 Alves
10:30 Chavez (M)
10:35 Payne
10:40 Cheryl
10:45 Houze
10:50 Guteirrez
10:55 Mason (jr)
11:00 Oliver
11:05 AVAILABLE
11:10 AVAILABLE
11:15 Mason (sr)
11:20 AVAILABLE
11:25 AVAILABLE
11:30 AVAILABLE
11:35 AVAILABLE
11:40 AVAILABLE
11:45 AVAILABLE
11:50 McCormick
11:55 AVAILABLE
12:00 AVAILABLE
12:05 AVAILABLE
12:10 AVAILABLE
12:15 AVAILABLE
12:20 Ross
12:25 AVAILABLE
12:30 AVAILABLE
12:35 AVAILABLE
12:40 AVAILABLE
12:45 AVAILABLE

2008-04-19T01:35:00.001-07:00

The beginnings of a new photo website. I was playing around with slideshow options so I can decide what frame I want to build it around... tell me what ya think.

CLICK HERE.

What is enough?

2008-03-05T12:22:00.000-08:00

My first sentence was, "I can't wait." Being content with what I have, the time line someone else hands me... let's just say it hasn't always been my strong suit. During every car ride as a child I used to ask, "Are we there yet?" I even had an annoying little song to sing about the subject. So much of this stemmed from my ability (or lack thereof) to be content.

1 Timothy 6:6 says:
"But godliness is actually a great gain when accompanied by contentment."

Aren't we always supposed to strive for godliness? How could that ever not be "a great gain"? According to Paul's instructions to his protégé Timothy, sometimes our quest for holiness, our quest for more, has a motivation that negates its blessing in our lives. The Bible commentator Matthew Henry wrote "If nature should be content with a little, grace should be content with less." And when it comes to grace from God in and for my life-- I have been the recipient in abundance!

It's interesting how Paul links our quest for godliness to contentment, and then quickly (just a few verses later) shows how a lack of contentment leads to a love of money, and the love of money is the root of evil. How fast we fall down that slippery slope. But somewhere along the way, I think those of us who 'want more,' have given the idea of 'being content' a negative connotation-- That in order to be godly, it means we can't ask for more. In other words, we're stuck with what we have.

But according to God, contentment is not a passive acceptance of "this is all I get." It's an active acceptance of "look what God has provided."

In another letter Paul wrote, "I have learned, in whatever circumstances I'm in, to be content" (Phil 4:11). And then only two verses later he said, "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me" (Phil 4:13). In his second letter to the church in Corinth Paul declared that God says to us, "My grace is sufficient for you" (2 Cor 12:9). The word sufficient has the same root word as contentment.

I can be content with His grace, because since it's endless--that's certainly always enough! Through Christ, I can do all things! Paul wasn't saying, "Take what you get and deal with it!" He was calling us to see Who we've gained from, place it in perspective, and give proper glory for proper reasons.

So do I feel like I am "there yet?" No. But as long as I continue to be content with what God is doing and what He has blessed me with, He will strengthen me for even more in His name.

When the world stands still.

2008-02-27T11:11:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, for the first time since Joshua’s battle against the Amorites, time stood still. Okay, so it wasn't for a full day; but for three hours last night, life as we know it came to a halt. From 5:30 to 9:00 PM Starbucks was closed. Not just my husband's store or a few in town... all of them. Nationwide. As my cousin put it, "the world waited at the feet of the green mermaid wondering if she would keep her promise and return on time." Each store reopening was a magical chocolate factory moment, minus the eerie Willy Wonka played by Johnny Depp.

The reason for our momentary lapse in caffeine was an initiative by the company to take a moment of reflection. For three hours baristas around the country gathered around personal dvd players to watch a video message from the CEO Howard Schultz and then walked through three training sessions with their managers. By taking this time-out, they accomplished almost half a million hours of training. It's a clear message that they think standards and training are important for their company's success. As a local manager told my cuz, “[They’re] getting back to [their] soul.”

That comment really gave my heart a pause. If Starbucks thinks it's important to take a few hours off for introspection, shouldn't I? When's the last time I took three hours, shut the doors to the world, and spent that time "in training" with God? In the Psalms, the writer talks about God taking my hand and guiding me with His counsel. Yet solitude is one of the most neglected spiritual disciplines in the Church today.

This week is crazy busy for me, and I know everyone else out there is just as busy with family, work and life in general. But let's take the challenge-- three hours. By yourself, with God. If it's worth those loss in revenue for Starbucks, imagine the increase we'll experience in our own lives.

What do you think?

My Valentine to the Pastor's Husband

2008-02-12T18:13:00.000-08:00

A few months ago I was asked by my presbyter to pray about serving on the Sectional Leadership Committee. Unfortunately, God didn't like my 'no' answer and kept using that nagging little voice to remind me of a few things (okay, so maybe if I had been paying more attention it wouldn't have felt like nagging, but you get the point that I wasn't all that agreeable with the subject).

Today, one of our credentialing interviews was a woman going into ministry with a husband who is not in vocational ministry, nor does he plan to be. As my fellow members of the committee asked the couple great questions about handling the women in ministry "issue" (because, yes, even on the Left Coast it can still be an issue), I began answer their questions in my own head.

The night Ben and I decided to start dating (which by the way, will be 8 years ago on Feb. 18), I point blank said to him, "I'm called to pastor. No one will ever change that. Are you okay with that?" Funny thing is, I think back then, he saw how that could work even more than I did.

My husband is my biggest supporter. He is my rock. And for anyone in ministry, you can understand with me the importance of having someone that will always be in your corner and standing firm. And for anyone who's ever made an ignorant remark about who wears the pants in our house...well, you've obviously never spent more than 3 minutes around us. I could not do what I do if he was not there, in full support, already knowing what I was going to say because I had to think it through out-loud during dinner, praying me through it, and of course, making sure my microphone is working. (woo-hoo for having a personal techie!).

Ben's even temperament balances my emotive, I've-spent-a-lot-of-time-in-the-theatre one.
Ben's loyalty challenges my over-extended independence.
Ben's ability to laugh off someone's shock at his "I'm Pastor Kathy's husband" balances my annoyance with confused faces at my "I'm a pastor."

And not the least of these...

Ben's eyes...still make my heart melt.

Questions I don't like

2008-01-29T17:11:00.000-08:00

On Sunday someone asked me a question I didn't like.
A question that was too accurate to be comfortable.

I don't like questions like that.

Semper Fi

2008-01-24T22:27:00.000-08:00

The video is from the site http://our.marines.com. One of the guys that is smiling with people and talks about folks coming up and talking with them is Brian Whitmarsh, one of our best friends. He also gets a bunch of face time on the Kentucky video. If you haven't seen the new commercial, I'd recommend going to the website and watching the extended version. It's a gorgeous video of the Silent Drill Platoon during their travels across the country last year.

Bricks

2008-01-24T11:34:00.000-08:00

While on vacation Ben and I had a great evening with old friends. John & Korie Taylor are now missionaries to Indonesia, and were on the ground just days before the deadly tsunami that killed so many in that region a few years ago. John told us how they were able to take brick machines that are normally fundraised to build churches, and begin to neighborhoods, stores, civic buildings for completely devastated communities.

In Indonesia, that's a great thing, and continues to rebuild what was lost. I think that in our lives, we are all making bricks. But too often I take those raw materials and form bricks to build walls that aren't for shelter, but instead for isolation.

Isaiah 57:14 says:
God says, “Rebuild the road!
Clear away the rocks and stones
so my people can return from captivity.”

When I came across this verse in my devotions, it struck me that we have so many roads left to build. Others have been damaged from hurt and neglect, and are in sore need of repair. But for us to worship in "unity and truth" that Scripture speaks of, we have to be diligent to build more roads. That is the only way more people will get to a place of saving knowledge of Christ in their lives.

But where are the bricks we'll need to lay a path?

God has called me, us as a church (Mars Hill) and as a Church (the entire Family of God) to tear down the walls that have previously been built. Things meant for division can be recycled into paths of friendship. Materials that isolated our hearts will instead show authenticity and transparency.

My knuckles may get a little marked up during the time of demolition. I'm pretty sure my manicure won't survive. But the end result... More family. More friends. More of God's blessings in my life.

I'm challenged to take the raw materials God has given me and build bricks that will lay roads for others to find Christ instead of walls for me to hide behind.

::edit::
Congratulations to John & Korie on the arrival of baby Noel!

Ministry Area Sign-Ups

2008-01-17T13:36:00.000-08:00

Ok, guys, please sign up for a time to hold your phone interview with Fellowship One. The available slots are listed below. Then click on the comments to see when someone else has picked and then leave a comment (don't forget to tell me who you are by putting your name in the nickname slot) with your chosen time. If we run out of slots I'll schedule more, or possibly split time. Most of you will only need about 30 minutes, but we want to estimate high so you can make room in your busy schedules.

Thank you so much for being diligent in this. Remember I need the surveys back by Saturday night so I can send them on to Marie, our development contact at Fellowship Technologies.

MONDAY, Jan 21
4:30 – 5:30
5:30 – 6:30

TUESDAY, Jan 22
1:30 – 2:30
2:30 – 3:30
3:30 – 4:30
4:30 – 5:30
5:30 – 6:30
6:30 – 7:30

Football & Country Ham

2007-12-22T10:26:00.001-08:00

Today is Kramer's (Ben's cousin) last high school football game. He's the starting quarterback for the Sacramento All-Star Team. It'll be a blast to head to the game today at Grant High School with the fam and watch him play with some amazing student athletes from other high schools. These are the guys he was competing against for things like player of the year in the Sacramento Bee. Then, Kramer and I get to do biology labs together next week. I'm beyond proud of Kramer, more as a student than as an athlete. Because I'm not athletic, I just watch in awe at his natural talent there. But because I am an academic, I know the hard work he's put into his grades and classes. He's a great guy.

I'm already packed a load of country ham sandwiches to take to the game to share with everyone. My ham arrived yesterday and I cooked it last night. I wasn't willing to let it sit and smell up my kitchen (a ham straight from the smokehouse is a few months old at least, and tends to have some light mold and smell kinda funky from the salt, smoke and skin). After realizing I had no way to cut through the ham bone (how come we don't have a hack saw?) I scrubbed the skin well and then used an electric knife to cut everything off the bone. Then, into two large pots on the stove to simmer for a few hours (cutting it up also seriously reduced my cooking time, which was a very nice realization). Since I had only pre-soaked the ham for about an hour or two, I changed out the simmering water halfway through to reduce the saltiness.

At 10:00-ish last night I pulled it all out and we cut off all the outer skin and fat, then wrapped the meat in foil and put it in the fridge. It's easier to cut if you chill it overnight, and I like it cold anyway. I used one of the huge sections for the sandwiches, and still have TONS of ham left. Some I'll fry up this week, the rest will get packaged and frozen for enjoyment later in the year.

By the way--Pike & hambones...wow. Heaven.

Machiatto watching Pike eat the hambone and being stuck on the other side of the patio door...pure torture. lol.

Being Reflective

2007-12-20T19:53:00.000-08:00

Because we won't be traveling until after the new year begins, my Christmas is bound to be rather reflective. For someone as in love with holiday traditions as I, not being with lots of extended family makes me more melancholy than my choleric normally allows.

I wanted to share a few favorites from tonight's ponderings. Two are what are probably my "life verses" (a term that I'd never heard until a couple of years ago--where I grew up it's just a favorite memory verse).

1 Timothy 4:12
Let no man despise thy youth--but be an example of the believers in speech, life, love, faith & purity.

from Psalm 51 (the Message paraphrase)
...shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.
...Give me a job teaching rebels your ways
so the lost can find their way home.

Next is what, for lack of a better term, I'll call my "life song." It's a favorite from Shawn McDonald. They raw cry of this song is so powerful to my heart.

Have You Ever
Have you ever wanted to be someone else
Have you ever wanted just to be someone
Have you ever wanted to reach your dreams
Have you ever wanted life to be more than it seems
//
I have tasted of a love so wide
That it stops all my time
I have tasted of a love so deep
That it blows my mind
//
Have you ever wanted to reach up and touch the sky
Have you ever wanted to pack it up and say good-bye
Have you ever wanted someone to care
Have you ever wanted someone to be there
//
He is sweet, He is sweet
What you're looking for
Is my sweet, sweet Jesus
What You're looking for
Is my sweet Lord

Yes, I'm impatient.

2007-12-19T22:56:00.001-08:00

It's not all my fault.

My parents opened their Christmas gifts to each other yesterday (December 18). So it really should come as that much of a surprise that I got my gifts from Ben tonight.

Hey--to each family their own traditions, right? And part of my family's tradition has always (and I really do mean always) open gifts earlier than is normally kosher. (Am I allowed to use the term kosher when referring to Christmas? Ahh, you know what I meant.)

And in my own defense--Ben told me to sit down while he went and got them. There was no forcing. In fact, there wasn't even much coercing. As much fun as he has torturing me with stuff like that, he wanted to give them to me. It also saved him from some wrapping duties. :o)

By the way--I love my gifts.

Earphones with tiny little buds that don't hurt my ears (I have especially small ear canals)
A gorgeous black and red leather business card holder (I had asked for one that was sleek and classy--I love what he picked)
A gorilla tripod (it's small and can be thrown in your bag but has these bendable legs that let you wrap it around a railing or anything really, to get a good timer shot)

Love you Ben!

Why am I

2007-12-13T13:52:00.001-08:00

Yesterday I was headed back to the office, and it dawned on me--
I'm annoyed.

I'm not annoyed at anyONE.
I'm not annoyed at anyTHING.
I'm not annoyed for any good reason AT ALL.
But, I just am.

So as I began to hash this out with the Lord, I just prayed that God would remove the chaos, remove the distractions and the attitudes that had suddenly crept into my daily life. When I got to the office, I took some time to turn to the Psalms and allow God to give me a purpose and a plan. This keeps me centered on Him instead of my suddenly quick temper. Psalm 51 became such a soothing part of my day. It's one of my favorite passages--here's what I made note of in my journal:

Psalm 51 (from the NLT)
6 But You desire honesty from the heart
so You can teach me to be wise in my inmost being.
...
8... You have broken me,
now let me rejoice.
...
12 Restore to me the joy
of Your salvation,
...
15 Unseal my lips, O Lord,
that I may praise You.
...
17 The sacrifice You want
is a broken spirit.

Those words jumped out at me. "You have broken me, now let me rejoice." It seems so illogical, but so powerful. God showed me that my annoyance was because my center that day had not yet been found in Him.

In another part of the chapter, Eugene Peterson puts it like this: "Create a Genesis week from the chaos in my life." What a beautiful image of God taking my void (after all, being annoyed yesterday was simply the absence of having the Peace of God in the moment) and creating something amazing.

Lord--may You fashion amazing moments in our week to come, that we see Your hand at work. When You break us, something is revealed inside. And with that revelation, You can provide healing. And as Psalm 51 says, now let us rejoice. Amen.

Solitude

2007-12-07T19:35:00.000-08:00

Deitrich Bonhoeffer wrote “Let him who cannot be alone beware of community…Let him who is not in community beware of being alone.”

The last THRIVE class was on the discipline of Solitude. I loved teaching this class--one of the best ways to learn, or re-learn something is to teach it. When it comes to discipleship, the cliche of "those who can't, teach" should certainly not be true. I strive to practice everything I preach, but believe that I have to be vulnerable and authentic enough to share that I don't have it all together, and my own spiritual walk is just as much of an "in process" thing as everyone else's.

Back to solitude... we ran out of time during our six-weeks (that class will seven weeks long from this point on), so for this last session, I recorded the teaching plus a few favorite solitude-time songs for the class to take home and work on in...well, solitude. I think it added something extra to the teaching simply because I was sitting in an office by myself while I recorded it. In both my time of preparation and time of teaching I was able to constantly rely on the Holy Spirit as my only sense of interaction. It was a moving experience. For those of us who are used to going partially off the reactions of those listening to us (verbal and non-verbal), doing something like this is a challenge, but it was really rewarding! I pray the participants have an amazing time with the Lord as they walk through the study.

it's a new season

2007-11-08T23:26:00.000-08:00

Yes, we've turned a leaf at Mars Hill. We started two services at the beginning of October, and one month later, the first service is healthy (larger than the average church in America) and the second service looks just as crowded as the only service did a month ago. Amazing, awesome, and completely God.

That's not the new leaf. The new leaf is that I have just planned and advertized an event that will happen DURING one of those services. Yes folks, I will not be in one of the services, and I am telling others to be elsewhere with me, then go to church later. Wow. This is a momentous moment.

The event, by the way, is a breakfast for our group life leaders. Those who lead small groups and teach Bible studies. During the holiday season there's no way I could get everyone together for a thank you breakfast, so I decided to host it during the first service so everyone can be involved. Now figuring out how to make a classroom into a nice potluck breakfast area...that's my next step. :o)

Outdoing Myself

2007-11-01T23:36:00.000-07:00

I'm stuck. I was pretty sure last year that I had an amazing Cmas card. But I was also pretty sure that this year's would include children.

Now this year, I'm absolutely sure last year's was great. And I have no children to put on this year's. So now instead of out-doing myself by showing off my kids (which I don't have), I have to figure out a fabulous design to compensate.

This is not happy.

Fighting Against Obedience

2007-09-19T14:33:00.000-07:00

Last week was our Minister's Retreat for the NorCal/Nevada District. This is one of those events that if you go in with a bad attitude, it's going to be horrible, but if you go in with a good attitude, you'll love it. I had a great time, which was semi-surprising, but then again, that was my goal.

On Thursday night the Word was fabulous. Wayne Benson was the speaker, and he shared a strong message on the fire of God. After there was a great time of worship. During that time, God spoke to me saying, "It's time to stop being obedient, and start being passionate. Obedience to the call will get you through the day, but passion for the call will CHANGE the day."

I'm now being challenged by that, a week later. I'm fighting against just doing things out of obedience, and struggling to find the passion for the mundane. God's grace in this situation is what is so beautiful. When I begin to think, "Why am I doing this?" I have a moment of realization that there IS purpose beyond simple obedience.

Don't get me wrong--there is a time and place where obedience is all you need. That just doesn't happen to be where I am right now.

Beyond friends.

2007-09-02T21:39:00.002-07:00

My husband and I have a few people in our life that we would consider "beyond friends." This week, they are in our home. Having Brian, Tatina and Scott visit isn't like normal company, or even family visiting (although Tatina is my cousin). I made up the bed for Brian & Tatina, and left out some sheets for Scott to sleep on the couch, but other than that, no extra "company cleaning" was required. In fact, Scott started doing dishes not too long after he arrived.

Tomorrow we're headed to Lake Tahoe (we'll be passing all of the Labor Day people on their way home) for a few days of camping at the Lake. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to this. I'm going to do my best not to check my e-mail hourly on my phone, or even look at my phone for that matter. I love my life. I love my job, I love being a pastor and being blessed with the opportunity to have a front-row seat to watch God change peoples lives. But with these friends, I'm not Pastor Kathy. I'm not the over-achiever. In fact, they know more flaws of mine than I'll ever care to admit. And we laugh together, get frustrated with each other, forgive each other, eat off each others' plates at dinner, sleep side-by-side in a tent that's too small for the five of us...and love every single second of it.

I've known Tatina my whole life. Brian and I met the first day of classes, eight years ago. Scott and I met before classes started. Ben was his roommate. Here's to eight years of amazing friendship, and to eighty more.

Switching over...

2007-08-30T21:16:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I've made the switch from my Xanga to here... Let's see how it goes.

Cleaning up the Wells

2007-04-01T20:38:00.000-07:00

Mom C. once sent me a picture of the water that was coming out of their well in Liberia. It was a lovely dark reddish-brown color. Even though their well had been dug well, even though they kept it up as well as they could, it still stopped supplying them with clean water for their lives. Oh, there was plenty of water...it just looked like a strong cup of rooibos tea.

It was time to dig deeper. They didn't shut down the well or just dump chemicals into it. It wasn't even about "shoring up the walls." Sometimes, we just have to dig deeper.

I spent a couple of days this week with a group of people looking to dig deeper. It was probably one of the most gratifying and fulfilling experiences I have ever had in ministry.

What is your definition of productive--being a well with water, or one with life-giving water? God can fill us all day long, but we haven't dug deep enough, it will still end up a mess.